“Art books are filled with interesting images. And that’s cool and all, but I look more for the nudes.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People who collect books, and categorize them by Roy G. Biv instead of alphabetically, are displaying the fact that their books aren't… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If this book looks like it took me 15 minutes to put together, that’s because it did! 30 seconds to write it,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People are like books. You can either read them, or you can burn them. But before I try to read you, I’ve… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When people say they don’t read, I always wonder if they don’t because they can’t or because they won’t. Then I think,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most people have a list of 100 books to read before they die, or 100 places to visit. Not me. I have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“More people are leaving TV behind to read my books than ever before. In the last year alone I gained over two… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I told you that my global audience has shot up 100% in the last six months, what would you say? If… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can’t talk you out of what your heart is set on. I just hope you set it on the shelf, next… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wrote half this book (the left half) while I was asleep, and I wrote the other half (the top half) while… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can believe history books when they tell you when wars were fought. You just can’t trust them as to why.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can’t charge you 99 cents for a book called 99 Cents For Some Nonsense, because that would make sense. However, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I didn’t feel like buying him the jacket he asked for for Christmas, so I just got him a coat hanger with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This book does not exist. And if that doesn’t deter you from buying it, then I’m also selling frozen alien flesh, a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My brakes sound like my horn, and my car’s bumper is bumpy enough to be brail. My ideal reader would be a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A picture with one word on it is like a thousand-and-one-word piece of literature. At this rate, I should be done with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can’t write with dry ink. Likewise, using another author’s dried words to make your writing more fluid is not only dishonest,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“All books are coloring books, if you are in possession of a childlike imagination, and a box of markers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are only two kinds of books worth keeping: Valuable books and valuable books. The first value is monetary, and the second… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to type one of my books into a free online translation website, and convert it from English to German and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can read people like an open book, especially if their named Braille, and I’m in a touchy-feely mood.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
