“He offered to pay me in agriculture, and I said I didn’t want that, I want money. I told him agriculture won’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What is it about money that makes people kill for it? I’ll have to think about that next time I do it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to make a billion dollars. It’s easy! All you need to do is fill up a shopping cart… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Money is seen as a great evil. But I've never seen a pile of cash stab someone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t have any money. And if I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I should charge my bank money every time I endorse the back of a check. What is the going rate these days… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“On a unicycle, my tire will tire before I do. I ride for charity. I’m trying to raise enough money to buy… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you have one dollar and I have a hundred dollars, I could say I have a hundred times the amount of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My wallet was empty after the charity auction. Of course, my wallet was empty before the auction too. I donated my time… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t have any money to speak of. And if I did, what’s there to say? They say money talks, but it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My clones will look like me, and therefore I’ll treat them like myself—starting with spending all their hard-earned money. You can’t love… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If Warren Buffet made chocolate, I’ll bet it’d be really rich. And corrupt.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I'm not fluent in affluent. Still, I’m grin rich, and my smile stretches from yesterday to tomorrow. You should kiss me on… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Rich mahogany wood was used to construct the bookshelves, and the floor is also hardwood of the same deep tone. Copper trim… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
The dollar isnt worth its weight in gold, and the pound isnt worth its weight in ounces. — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“As far as how my mom might view me, I can imagine her saying something like this to me: “You may be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I feel I’m just doing a poor impression of a person. Maybe I feel this way because I have no money.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s nothing that says love like getting money as a gift, and then giving it away to the needy. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If anger were money, only a fool would greedily save it up. And a wise man would let it slip out of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This financial crisis in Europe would have left Greece in Ruins, but it’s been that way for 2,000 years.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I guess I should be thankful. Full of thank. But what is thank? I can't eat thank, so I know my stomach… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wish I had money now. If only I’d saved my allowance growing up, instead of squandering it on balls, balloons, booze,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I found money, I’d turn it in—for the reward. Unless the reward money was less than the value of the money… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to encourage trees to grow fruitful things like money. If money grew on trees, then I’d get… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
