“I keep my heart in my hope chest. Other items in there are clothes, towels, silverware, and all the love I have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Ice cream is like the sun, except instead of it being hot it’s cold. Also it’s edible and tasty and won’t make… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is like hooray! Special terms and conditions may apply. See dealer for details. Coupon not valid with any other offer.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love isn’t measured in feet and miles, it’s measured in hands and hands on. (Yesterday at 3:33 pm I spoke to the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When red fights with white, pink is always the winner. Let that be a lesson in love.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A sample may taste better than the whole, because it’s meant for a taste test, which is perceptually expected to garner favorable… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The birds bark my name, and I meow theirs in return. I may be a bit mixed up about life, but not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of passion and admiration.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I ask you, “What about love?”, there is no wrong answer. Unless you answered 34. That is definitely wrong.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is as Swift as Taylor. You’d better shoot it down before it flies away. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“How would you define love to an eight-year-old aardvark from Argentina who hears angularly, rather than linearly? I don’t know, but let… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
