“A blanket could be used as a cover of your favorite song by your favorite cover band. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used for a soft opening of a new casino. The softer the better, I always say. Well, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make all your dreams come true. Well, not all of them. Just the ones that are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to communicate with dolphins. Be quiet! I’m trying to talk to the swimming mammals. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a trap to ensnare two entangled lovers. Using this method is how I found my current… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a distress symbol. You’ll know I’m in danger and in need of rescue, because I’ll be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to study the stars more thoroughly. I don’t know how exactly, because I’m not Stephen Hawking. Somebody… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a soggy umbrella, if you’re too cheap to buy my 360-degrees spinning windshield wiper on a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say hello to a man who’s not only tone deaf, but also regular deaf. Just wave… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to silence your internal critic. And if you don’t shut him up, I’ll do it for you.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used like a Love Fleece. I imagine you’re shaking your head. Do you disagree? Fine, then when you’re… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a tank, if you rearrange the letters and leave out the leb. But why would you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blanket could be used to form a new word—tenkalb—which in turn could be used, or not used at all. But that’s not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a screen to project animated bedtime stories onto, and also a place to project your fears… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep your body warm. After all, your body starts cooling off rapidly once you die. But… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a distraction. Wave it to the right, while you loot to the left. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a stool softener. Or it could also be used to soften a chair. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, to cover up illicit brick deals done under the table. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used in exciting medical advancements, curing everything from shivers to tonitrophobia. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to express my feelings towards her. You see, I’m not tired—but I am tired of her. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to barter with. I could trade my blanket for your sex, and everybody’s happy but the tax… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“One brick could be used to do the work of two men, if both men are dead. In this case, a blanket… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a spy, because if you need to blend in and go under cover, what’s better than… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to draw a map on—a treasure map, and not something Google has knowledge of. Want to know… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to distribute ice cream to dyslexics. Blankets are cold and ice cream needs to be kept warm,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to confuse and disorient. Think of it not as a bed adornment, but as a really big… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to crack the code of love. What is it, where do I find it, and how much… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to sell ice cream to streakers. Well, it could, if those naked runners didn’t leave their wallets… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to represent my feelings for you. I think it’s slightly more communicative than me giving you a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used like a friend, if you’re the sort of person who uses their friends. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to describe somebody hard and inflexible, and a blanket could be used to describe somebody warm and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used in a secretive manner. What? I can’t just tell you how it could be used. What part… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to water down the water. Don’t do it now! Wait until I am finished bathing. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to smother a fire—but not the fire that burns in my heart for you. Or perhaps that’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to lure politicians to your side of an issue. Which is your side? Easy—the side I’m not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are warm. Where’s the cold war when… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to protect your heart from heartbreak. Keep your heart warm, because if your heart grows as cold… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a cat. Wait, I have that backwards. A cat could be used as a blanket. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
