Wife SMS / Text Messages

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!

Too late for garbage

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

1 horror movie dekhi

Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi,
1 churail kabhi mere age
kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:Kaun si movie thi?
Husband:Apni shadi ki

What if you don't see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldnt believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didnt see her......
Tuesday and wednesday passed too.....
On thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the
Corner of one eye;)

A successful man / woman

A successful man is one
who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

Who is guilty (Husband / Wife) ?

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!"

Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"

5 funny facts of life

Having 1 child makes you a parent
but having 2 makes you a refree.

Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right
and the other is always husband.

You can't buy love
but you pay heavily for it.

Wife and husband always compromise,
husband admits that he's wrong and wife too agrees with him.

Our language is called the mother tongue
because the father never gets a chance to Speak.!:p

Why women starts with W

You know why women starts with 'W'...
because all questions start with "W".. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

Difference between Friend & Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend
"U r my Best Friend"
But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
"U r my Best Wife?"

Recently fired stock trader

A recently fired
stock trader said ...

"This is worse than divorce...
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife..."

Wife:What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second