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Funny Quote by Chelsea Handler

“I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.” quote by Chelsea Handler — Download Open image

“I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.”

Chelsea Handler

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Funny Hangover Humor Knows Needed Pregnancy

More by Chelsea Handler

I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.

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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run…

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At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of…

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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the…

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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is…

Chelsea Handler

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“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity…

Chelsea Handler

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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have…

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Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed…

Chelsea Handler

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I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just…

Chelsea Handler

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“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.”

Chelsea Handler

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Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn…

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You cant be controlling in improv.

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When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions…

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Joking about violence is not funny.

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It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say.

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God reveals Himself through surprises.

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Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :)

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The happy have whole days,

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Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information...

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Why are things as they are and not otherwise?

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I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

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Penis goes in , sperms cums out.

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If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

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