Nikhil Saluja

Happiness starts with 'H'

— Nikhil Saluja

Averages are mean.

— Nikhil Saluja

Diode: A couple of long poems

— Nikhil Saluja

Live, Laugh, Love MY DICK!

— Nikhil Saluja

Originality is a rare commodity

— Nikhil Saluja

Personality? You mean her tits?

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm afraid, I just blue myself.

— Nikhil Saluja

My sperms are just mini-sharks.

— Nikhil Saluja

You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When Your Thermos is on wheels.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nice guys finish last, and gay guys finish in each others ass.

— Nikhil Saluja

In case of emergency , Break Dance!

— Nikhil Saluja

I love it when my clothes smell like you after we hang out.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just recieved a restraining order from my toilet.

— Nikhil Saluja

Note to self: Thanks for always being there.

— Nikhil Saluja

When I was a kid I used to...no wait I still do that.

— Nikhil Saluja

I would go to bed, but then who would use the internet

— Nikhil Saluja

The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish my real life friends were more like my followers. Especially the part where they mention me and I ignore them.

— Nikhil Saluja

People wearing sunglasses in their avatar are serial killers and should be blocked.

— Nikhil Saluja

If God Was A Woman… Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife

— Nikhil Saluja

Life would be so much easier if our arms disappeared during our sleep.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies love boners cause they're always straight and to the point.

— Nikhil Saluja

Life is not easy and it will only become harder if all you do is complain.

— Nikhil Saluja

A Woman Never Say: I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby sitter Tracy.

— Nikhil Saluja

Not to brag but its women who always say 'SORRY' to me Like this women in bar last night said: SORRY Asshole,…

— Nikhil Saluja

I was watching Gene Simmons' TV show, Family Jewels. Or as it's known in the business, 'The Osbournes' Without the Talented Father.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, it's very important to finish cleaning up before kick-off. It's very distracting to hear dishes clattering during the game.

— Nikhil Saluja

How to Piss Off A Woman : Ask her how she prepared a meal. If she wants to know why you want…

— Nikhil Saluja

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house & everyone in it, & I learned we…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you find a girl that is willing to go through hell just to keep the relationship going, you really shouldn't take…

— Nikhil Saluja

To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart 4: Sit back watch Security search for 4

— Nikhil Saluja

If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a…

— Nikhil Saluja

They say gay people have gaydar, which lets them figure out who else is gay. Waiters in expensive restaurants have something similar,…

— Nikhil Saluja

Alex Rodriguez never gets clutch hits in October, yet his fans insist on comparing him to Babe Ruth. So A-Rod tries to…

— Nikhil Saluja

I was eating an orange the other day and a friend said, Did you know nothing rhymes with 'orange?' So, I threw…

— Nikhil Saluja

After miraculously surviving two heart surgeries, pneumonia and a mild stroke, at 82 my grandfather was no longer able to care for…

— Nikhil Saluja

How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live…

— Nikhil Saluja

He who knows not, and knows not he knows not, he is a fool, shun him. He who knows not, and knows…

— Nikhil Saluja

A couple is married for 47 years and the woman dies. At the funeral, the pallbearers swing the coffin, which hits a…

— Nikhil Saluja

I just wanna say one thing.

— Nikhil Saluja