WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends Over And over again that you love them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to hate people who wore Check shirts. Now I just hate everybody. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
STERILISE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically Converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DEFENCE: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are Laughing WITH you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOOK OUT!: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
All a woman really wants is to know you care. And all of the sandles ever made. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I'm on my deathbed, the nicest thing anyone can say to me is, You were right about everything. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some women need to walk around with a stripper pole to match their outfit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I was an octopus, I would check my emails while I feed myself while I pick my nose while I masturbate… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are Tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
