Humor Quotes by Nikhil Saluja

I don't have a great sense of humor, but I do have a great sense of nonsense.

— Nikhil Saluja

Organization is for people who are too lazy to look for their stuff.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman Law: My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dont apply logic in love & in comedy, youll miss the charm.

— Nikhil Saluja

I like my bitches like I like my comedy, raunchy as fuck.

— Nikhil Saluja

I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets

— Nikhil Saluja

Why are you so funny? If she asks this question, you got her. She is yours.

— Nikhil Saluja

Humor is sorrow plus time divided by farts.

— Nikhil Saluja

I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's a guy thing really means There's no rational thought pattern connected with it and you can't make it logical.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE is like the action similar to an hourglass: the heart fills as the brain empties.

— Nikhil Saluja

You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.

— Nikhil Saluja

You're trying to inspire us...on TWITTER. I am sure I'm not the only one who finds this funny.

— Nikhil Saluja

It takes patience to listen... It takes skill to pretend that you are actually listening.

— Nikhil Saluja

Stupidity is like art. Everyone can do it, but only the truly gifted are masters at it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I find it cruel that the word lisp has an s in it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Government Philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is.

— Nikhil Saluja

I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.

— Nikhil Saluja

Having sex with clowns is what I like to call 'fucking funny.'

— Nikhil Saluja

Two red blood cells met and fell in love. But alas, it was in vein.

— Nikhil Saluja

When the joke is on you, your sense of humour gets a reality check.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not an optimist but hopefully one day I will be.

— Nikhil Saluja

Laughing stock is really cattle with a sense of humor.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

— Nikhil Saluja

The only comedy in romantic comedies is the romance part.

— Nikhil Saluja

The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.

— Nikhil Saluja

My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got…

— Nikhil Saluja

Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters.

— Nikhil Saluja

Last night, my wife asked if I could make a dinner for a change. I'm glad she has such a good sense…

— Nikhil Saluja

When I die I want my body to donate for research, but more specifically to a scientist who is working on bringing…

— Nikhil Saluja

When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to…

— Nikhil Saluja

You've got higher grades than mine, not because you're smarter than me, but because I'm lazier than you.

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people…

— Nikhil Saluja

1813 Women have no rights. 1913 Women fight for some rights. 2013 Women are always fucking right.

— Nikhil Saluja