Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My parents used to be happy when I took naps but now they think I'm lazy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some hoes only meet the parents because they gotta walk pass the living room. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate to travel. I guess it's because my father used to beat me with a globe. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - Stop acting like your father! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They say childbirth is the most pain women ever experience. Mothers prepare their daughters for this pain by brushing their hair. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was watching Gene Simmons' TV show, Family Jewels. Or as it's known in the business, 'The Osbournes' Without the Talented Father. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
God Thought That He Couldn't Be Everywhere He Made A MOTHER. The Devil Thought That He Couldn't Be Everywhere He Made A… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Warning to 3-5 yrs old: Be careful about everything you say or do. You'll be hearing about it from parents, for the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: I don't blame you for ignoring me. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well son, your mother and I met on Twitter, then later we... NO DON'T LOOK AT HER AVI — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Put vodka in your water bottle and now you're the smartest parent at the school play! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instead of raising awareness for bullying, how about parents just stop raising assholes? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A moment of silence for all the teenagers whose parents wont let them eat in their room. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image of his father Never mind just so long as he's healthy! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
FACEBOOK: The only place where you can have a MILLION siblings! Their mothers must be Sluts! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Parents shouldn't tell their kids to dream big if they're stupid. Don't give them false hope. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Being a Mother means that your heart is no longer yours; it wanders wherever your children go. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In the good old days, girls used to cook like their mothers, NOW THEY DRINK LIKE THEIR FATHERS. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Can a mother get pregnant while nursing? Yes, but it's easier if she puts the baby to bed first! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you don't give kids the middle finger when their parents are not looking, we can't be friends. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My GirlFriend told me that she want me to act a little more like her father. So I fucked her mom. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Most blondes never talk when having sex because their mothers taught them never to speak to strangers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
God could not be with us every time we need support in our worst times of life, and therefore he made fathers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image