I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would! — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
As a woman, we should all stop talking about it and just acknowledge what's happened and act like we own the space,… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
You should always speak your mind, and be bold, and be obnoxious, and do whatever you want and don’t let anybody tell… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
That just sends the wrong message to everybody. [Donald Trump] should have the least amount of air time. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
![“That just sends the wrong message to everybody. [Donald Trump]…” quote by Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/184/chelsea-handler-887_air_that-just-sends-the-wrong-message-to-eve_2910105.jpg)
