As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
We set up a bakery called Bad Boy Bakery, to cook on the inside to sell on the outside. It was huge,… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
There's tons of information on the Internet, so if you type in cancer, they'll give you 15, 000 different options to get… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think the people in your life are the people that - when you can make other people happy and you can… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Absolutely I'm going to be talking about it, because it's in the zeitgeist and it's happening. It's an election year. It's the… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
