Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When life stresses you out, eat a carrot. It won't make your life any better, but at least you're helping out the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wish my girlfriend would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Girl I'm not hitting on you. I have a solid reputation for not trying to pick up girls who are sober. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Behind every great man is a great woman telling him he's not as great as he thinks he is… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Sex is like pizza; if you're gonna use BBQ sauce, you'd better know what you're doing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I love when I wake up in the middle of the night and realize I have so much more time to sleep! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When the library book-drop overflows and volumes spill onto the wet grass, the books are over dew. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Love is a feeling that is really hard to explain, but its the greatest feeling you could ever have. But love could… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Two women were talking. When I was young, I used to laugh when my mother crossed her legs when she had to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A couple had twins - a boy & a girl. In their family, it was the tradition of the father's brother to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
