Admit it, you have sarcastic conversations with yourself when people are ignoring you.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I blame Beauty and the Beast for giving ugly kids confidence & tricking them into thinking that beauty is found on the inside. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
LOVE surely comes from the heart…but I suspect that even the BOOBS in front contribute a lot... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Man was sent on earth to struggle... AND Woman was sent on earth to make sure it happens... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A Winning Horse doesn't know whats wining He only runs in pain given by his rider So whenever you're in pain think… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
April Fools' is exhausting. I can't wait for tomorrow when I can return to blindly accepting everything I hear. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I bought 13 alarm clocks and set them to go off at 5AM and put them all over my girlfriend's room. She… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You are the source of all that exists around you; you are the creator of your own world. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Get to know someone before judging them. It's much easier to judge once you have more information. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you have sex with their wives, and then you… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The hot dog was invented in 1903 by Jonathan Hotdog when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I just want to be successful enough to make others do the work that I'm being paid to do. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Once a gay boy married a lesbian girl .. and then.. . . . . . . . nothing happened.. what was supposed to happen anyway?? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I think the stomach is the most intelligent part of the body,Its smart enough to send the burps to the mouth and… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You don't truly know a woman until you understand every word she's not saying to you. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
What better way to recover from your exhausting workout session than to skip it and nap instead. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When you are successful your well wishers know who you are BUT when you are unsuccessful you know who your well wishers… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My girl doesn't have to dress up to impress me , given what she dressing up from is her birthday suit — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person from what they purchase at Wal-Mart. My purchase says that I don't shower or… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Nothing says 'I like big dicks in my ass' more than a person throwing a peace sign in a photo. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Pain is nature's way of saying Don't do that. . . . Painkillers are mankind's way of saying Screw it ... go ahead. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Thank you, but my Fingers deserve the award for being funny. They did all the copying and Pasting. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You attract people by the qualities that you display and you keep people by the qualities that you possess. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
~Love cant be proven with poems, promises, or presents but with sacrifice, compromise, and patience.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of sex with a man, and a man will risk getting a Viagra headache to have… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Fact : The average woman spends 1 year of her lifetime trying to decide what to wear ! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I do not take selfies. I photo bomb my phone while it's taking pictures of itself in the mirror. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My friend said I'm childish something something. Couldn't hear the rest cause I had my fingers in my ear & was saying… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Once again, the only reason I'm tweeting is to ignore this bum asking me to roll down my window. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Why would you let me know before unfollowing me? You're making it easier for me to track you down and murder you. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That one person who you know you can't trust, but keep telling them everything, anyway. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I was very drunk last night and I took a bus home. It may not sound like a big thing to you… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Best thing about social networking is how it brings us all together so we can have lunch with our phone. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The word aerobics came about when the instructors said If we're going to charge money, we can't call it jumping up and… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I Remember When You Would Say sorry, I'm in a relationship. People would say ohh, best of luck. Now all they say… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
