Who says women cant think consistently? . . . . My wife thinks that she's just 20 for the past 15 years — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There are two types of people in this world: 1)People who tried to move an object with their mind at least once… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If it takes you more than an hour to get ready,… you probably aren't as cute as you think you are — Green Monk Copy Share Image
They should really replace, I now pronounce you man and wife with FINISH HIM!! (mortal combat music blasting) — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife's mad at me again. She wanted to make a sex video last night and all I did was suggest we… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I just heard a strange noise coming from downstairs. I refuse to say Who's there? Those people always die. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Whenever someone asks me, How you doing? I say, Everything was fine till I had to stop and respond to your small… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Men watching porn is like women watching the Food Network: they are both watching things they are never gonna do! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have one of those open and shut marriages. My pants are always open and my wife's are always shut. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Next time you fart, turn to the nearest person and say, Did you hear that asshole talk shit behind my back? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Look, I'm not saying you're boring. I'm just saying I pay a lot more attention to you when you're naked. ooK? o_O — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I coughed in the morning & then entered my symptoms on internet . Now according to WEBMD I will die tonight. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Stop checking your phone nobody loves you! - me at the cinema to anyone checking their phone — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hairs, he thinks its cute. But, when you mess up a girl's hair... MAY YOUR SOUL… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I'm so sorry, but I have some bad news and a Justin Bierber CD. Which one would you like to hear first? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
This status is so good you will read it twice this status is so good you just read it twice. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My room is Not Dirty !! I just have everything on display ; it's like having my own Museum... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Its really so funny that people who treat me like shit get offended when me finally do the same to them. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When a human being trips I laugh at them. When I drop my phone my heart skips a beat. That sums up… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If some one breaks your trust , just punch them in the jaw . Seriously , just punch them in the jaw… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ive always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you cant judge a book by its cover but who wants to have… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dogs are tough. I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
With great power comes great responsibility, . . . . But after Marriage greater responsibility comes without any power.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
We all have that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I swapped my neighbor's newspaper with last years newspaper from the same date. He didn't even notice! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I hate how chocolates immediately melts on my fingers.. I mean... Damn, am I that hot? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
His imaginary girlfriend has left him. Due to lack of imagination, he cant imagine a life without her... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If he won't make you his official girl... it's probably because you're not his only girl. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have two brains. The one was lost and the other was out looking for it and hasn't come back until now. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Arranged Marriages: All your life you are expected not to talk to strangers and all of sudden you are expected to sleep… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If someone steps on your foot & asks Did I hurt you? . . Step on theirs (HARDER) & ask, Can you feel my answer? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women love a nice guy with a sense of humor. To cheer them up when their douchebag boyfriend cheats on them again.… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women say porn sites portray an unrealistic image of their beauty therefore making them feel inadequate. And then they buy 12 inch dildos. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Getting a blowjob with a condom on is like leaving your underwear on while taking a shit! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When I grow up I want to be just like my dog. Walking around fucking bitches... then when I get bored, I… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
He who laughs last is the one who is looking at the boobies of the girl who is telling the joke… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
