Today, be the change you wish to see in the twitter. Block the assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My dad is the boss. . .until Grandma comes over. Then hes just one of us — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I get upset when someone accepts my invitation to connect on LinkedIn. How dare you took a long time to accept an… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I didn't run into the wall, I was just checking to see how strong it was. (: — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A real man knows how to comfort his woman in good or bad situations. He's one of the reasons why she's always… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Blowjobs are the second best thing a woman can ever do with her mouth, the first best thing is shutting the fuck… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Have patience with all things, but, first of all with yourself. And then murder the asshole, Retweeting your Twitter Crush. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If you hire two lawyers, does that mean that both lawyers could be replaced by one paralegal? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have two brains. The one was lost and the other was out looking for it and hasn't come back until now. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A couple had twins - a boy & a girl. In their family, it was the tradition of the father's brother to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Just bought a pair of boots that are so comfortable when you're kicking someone in the face. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A woman can humiliate any man by simply saying . . Hold my purse. in Day & Is It In ? At Night — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No, officer I'm not drunk! The reason I'm walking like this is because I'm avoiding snipers. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Just saw the weirdest thing. A businessman was walking & wasn't on the phone acting like his call will determine the fate… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Sometimes I like to be a bit Romantic, that's why I light up a couple of scented candles when I masturbate. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I thought I was going crazy. So I went to a therapist. After half an hour, he paid me to leave. I… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Behind every great woman is a man telling her she's ignoring him. Behind every great man is a puzzled woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I met the girl of my dreams last night, then Something Inside My Pants woke up — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I Remember When You Would Say sorry, I'm in a relationship. People would say ohh, best of luck. Now all they say… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ask a SUCCESSFUL person HOW TO FINISH.... But always, Ask an EXPERIENCED person HOW TO START — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everytime I see my girlfriends tits they remind me why I pretend to care about what she has to say — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
