An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Research has revealed that you can actually fall in love with your own wife if some other man describes her to you... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If it wasn't for my excitement to hate someone new I wouldn't leave my bed in the morning. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
What is the fastest thing in the world? Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
In case of emergency exits can be located at the sign out, delete, deactivate, mute & block features Thank you for flying… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My girlfriends are my most valuable possessions, thats why I keep them locked up in closet. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No babies on this plane. I don't want to be the one crying & puking for the entire duration of the flight… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My annoying friend said that running will get my mind off things. He's right, I felt much better after I ran him… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Don't be sad if a person prefers another person over you. Because you can't convince a m0nkey that honey is m0re sweeter… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A real man knows how to comfort his woman in good or bad situations. He's one of the reasons why she's always… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The Shortest Solution Of Every Problem Is To Minimize The Distance Between Your Knee And Floor. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ever wonder about the true purpose of mosquitoes? I'm thinking it must be God's source of amusement... watching us slap ourselves! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A little ego is good. It prevents you from making a complete fool of yourself. But a little more ego has the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When your exes see youu happy,moving on with someone else... THAT'S when they want to wiggle their way back into your life. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
This girl just got mad cause I said she had awesome boobs, how the hell was I supposed to know the dude… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When I was young I was afraid of dark, Now when I get my electricity bill I'm afraid of light. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I get upset when someone accepts my invitation to connect on LinkedIn. How dare you took a long time to accept an… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Don't let your memory get poor with time. Do the right things to sharpen it ... like... lending me your money! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a couple holding hands from far away I sprint & imagine it being the finish line of a 100… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everytime I see my girlfriends tits they remind me why I pretend to care about what she has to say — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You wanna play games; Game On. Just remember, I'm not just a bitch, I am an intelligent bitch and out of your… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A gorgeous blonde found an old lamp and gently stroked it. I wonder if a genie will come, she mused. From inside… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
To understand a woman, you have to listen to her when she is looking at you, not when she is talking... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My granddaughter wanted a Cinderella theme party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I always wondered how theres 6 members in my family but theres like 20 tooth brushes… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You know you spend too much time online when you start double clicking on your light switches. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
People make the world go around but at some point dont you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife told me she wanted something with lots of diamonds, I bought her a deck of cards — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ex's are like toys you give them to the less fortunate so you can move on to bigger and better things ! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I'm thinking about growing a beard so I have something cool to do with my hands when I think. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I think it's time to clean out your Fridge when you open the door and something reaches out and hands you a… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The best day to propose to a girl is on April Fools Day. If she says yes, then good. But, if she… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The less make up you have on the more attractive you become. I don't make the rules. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Spending a long time writing a really long message then accidentally pressing the back button. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A blow-job is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
People tell me I'm a drama queen. I don't get why that's a bad thing. If I'm a queen, don't I get… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
