My girlfriend said she liked to be teased in the bedroom so, last night in bed I told her, Your new glasses… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If I had a $1.00 for every time my dad called me a failure....I wouldn't be a failure anymore — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I saw a sign today that almost made me piss myself. It said Bathrooms closed. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A girl who loves you for who you are is priceless. for all other girls, there is master card! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators...All I wanted was to complete the circle… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
How can you tell if a woman is paranoid? You find her vibrator -- and it's wearing a condom! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There are two types of people in this world: 1)People who tried to move an object with their mind at least once… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If it wasn't for my excitement to hate someone new I wouldn't leave my bed in the morning. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ladies, if you give men a choice between two things they'll pick the first. They stopped listening and didn't hear the second — Green Monk Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a penás and a práck? A penás is fun, sexy and satisfying. A práck is the guy connected… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If alcohol is evil, then alcoholics are the people who constantly and selflessly fight the evil in this world. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Friendship is rainbow between 2 hearts. Sharing 7 colors: love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, secret, & respect. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wish my girlfriend would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
LOVE surely comes from the heart....but I suspect that even the BOOBS in front contribute a lot... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everything is made in China... Except babies... They're made in the VaChina... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
