Blowjobs are the only jobs that haven't been affected by this shitty economy. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I make inappropriate choices when I drink. I also make them when I'm not drinking — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have two brains. The one was lost and the other was out looking for it and hasn't come back until now. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
We all have that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I swapped my neighbor's newspaper with last years newspaper from the same date. He didn't even notice! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If some one breaks your trust , just punch them in the jaw . Seriously , just punch them in the jaw… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ive always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you cant judge a book by its cover but who wants to have… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dogs are tough. I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
With great power comes great responsibility, . . . . But after Marriage greater responsibility comes without any power.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When a human being trips I laugh at them. When I drop my phone my heart skips a beat. That sums up… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Today, be the change you wish to see in the twitter. Block the assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I always try not to judge people. Which is probably why I lost my job as a judge — Green Monk Copy Share Image
According to the laws of probability, I have seen my neighbor's wife in panties. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Its really so funny that people who treat me like shit get offended when me finally do the same to them. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hairs, he thinks its cute. But, when you mess up a girl's hair... MAY YOUR SOUL… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I'm so sorry, but I have some bad news and a Justin Bierber CD. Which one would you like to hear first? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
