April Fools' is exhausting. I can't wait for tomorrow when I can return to blindly accepting everything I hear. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Just saw a homeless guy buy a cup of coffee, drink it, then use the cup to beg and make his money… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A male inmate promised a female prison guard, If you help me escape, I'll marry you. This is an example of using… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everyone makes mistakes but only ur girlfriends, wife & boss have the gifted talent of finding, remembering and reminding it to you.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Sometimes when I look at you, I just can't help fantasizing about kicking you in the face repeatedly. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The word aerobics came about when the instructors said If we're going to charge money, we can't call it jumping up and… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A woman in labor was screaming profanities at her husband. He calmly said, Dont blame me. I wanted to stick it in… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I make inappropriate choices when I drink. I also make them when I'm not drinking — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When a human being trips I laugh at them. When I drop my phone my heart skips a beat. That sums up… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Communication, trust, and affection, is the true foundation of every good relationship¦.. If one is missing¦.. LOVE cannot survive¦ — Green Monk Copy Share Image
They should really replace, I now pronounce you man and wife with FINISH HIM!! (mortal combat music blasting) — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dear alarm clock, It might be you they hit on, but it's me they're sleeping with. Sincerely, bed. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Set Your Goals High Enough To Inspire You And Low Enough To Encourage You — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I act completely normal around my parents. But as soon as I'm with my friends, I'm like the energizer bunny, on crack... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A Winning Horse doesn't know whats wining He only runs in pain given by his rider So whenever you're in pain think… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When life stresses you out, eat a carrot. It won't make your life any better, but at least you're helping out the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A Relationship Should Be Between (-_-)&(-_-) NOT (-_-)&(-_-)+(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-) — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
