Funny Quotes by Green Monk · Page 8

I have a super power..I can make people read any shit things.

— Green Monk

I cant read lips unless theyre touching mine

— Green Monk

An ex is called an ex because they're an ex-ample of who not to date next time.

— Green Monk

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.

— Green Monk

Relationships are like fat people...they don't work out

— Green Monk

If you choose to have a closed mind, please choose to have a closed mouth as well.

— Green Monk

Unless you know the whole situation and know FACTS...keep your mouth shut!

— Green Monk

I never said I wanted to be perfect, I just want to be good enough for you.

— Green Monk

I hate when people see me at the supermarket and are like, HEY, what are you doing here? and I'm like, Oh…

— Green Monk

If someone steps on your foot & asks Did I hurt you? . . Step on theirs (HARDER) & ask, Can you feel my answer?

— Green Monk

Arranged Marriages: All your life you are expected not to talk to strangers and all of sudden you are expected to sleep…

— Green Monk

Women love a nice guy with a sense of humor. To cheer them up when their douchebag boyfriend cheats on them again.…

— Green Monk

Women say porn sites portray an unrealistic image of their beauty therefore making them feel inadequate. And then they buy 12 inch dildos.

— Green Monk

I hate how chocolates immediately melts on my fingers.. I mean... Damn, am I that hot?

— Green Monk

His imaginary girlfriend has left him. Due to lack of imagination, he cant imagine a life without her...

— Green Monk

If he won't make you his official girl... it's probably because you're not his only girl.

— Green Monk

I'll never watch a Lifetime movie in my lifetime.

— Green Monk

I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.

— Green Monk

You call it it multiple personalities, I call it social networking in my head!

— Green Monk

A baby just posted a picture of its mothers breast and labeled it as food porn.

— Green Monk

That special feeling when a baby grabs your finger with their whole hand ..

— Green Monk

I had to quit my job crushing soft drink cans. It was soda pressing.

— Green Monk

I am dark and handsome. When it's dark, I'm handsome…

— Green Monk

If you're not into Oral Sex... Then keep your mouth shut..

— Green Monk

I would just like to point something out to you: the exit.

— Green Monk

April Fools' Day is probably the worst day ever to have a heart attack.

— Green Monk

Teenage love is all about making him your's, not her's. (;

— Green Monk

There's a smudge on my computer monitor, but I think it's on your side.

— Green Monk

I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own , Bitch .

— Green Monk

Hey, excuse me. You got a little Face on your Makeup.

— Green Monk

All these killings needs to stop. Lets just fight over internet with CAPS ON.

— Green Monk

I just want to punch a wall as hard as I can. I hope I miss and it hits your face.

— Green Monk

You're as fake as that padded bra you're wearing

— Green Monk

I deserve an oscar for the ammount of times I faked it with you

— Green Monk

I carry a Knife everywhere I go. You never know when you might want to cut a cake.

— Green Monk

Some women are so bored with sex, they only moan during commercial breaks !

— Green Monk

I think we should feel other people. ~ Blind couple while breaking up

— Green Monk

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

— Green Monk

Be the girl everyone wants to be with Not the girl that everyone has been with...

— Green Monk

Lead me not into Temptation… Just follow me, I know a shortcut.

— Green Monk