Funny Quote by Rodney Dangerfield Download Open image “One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".” — Rodney Dangerfield ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.2 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Garbage Humor Night One night
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
When someone gives you food out of nowhere, the first thing you say is, 'What did you do to it?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I let her do some of my laundry and she slipped in a few meals in between, and next thing I remember, she was… — Jackson Browne Copy Share Image
“After the first meal with a new girlfriend’s family, I always like to say, “Will you folks excuse me, I have to go to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
A girl once came to my beery flat in Kensal Green, opened the blinds and cooked me breakfast. I married her. — Peter Capaldi Copy Share Image
Once she'd loved my filet mignon, my carnivore inklings, but now she was a vegan princess, living off of beans. She'd given up the cheese and bacon, sworn off Burger King, and when I wouldn't do the same she gave me back my ring. I stood there by the romaine lettuce, feeling my heart pine. Wishing that this meatless beauty… — Sarah Dessen Copy Share
“I invited my girlfriend over and made her dinner. I didn’t cook, but I did eat her.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
What gave it away? When she loaded me bound and gagged into the back of her truck? Or when she actually said. "I'm ready… — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I wipe her down and I pipe her down. I give my girl money to go out of town. — 2 Chainz Copy Share Image
When I told you to take out the trash,I was hoping you would throw yourself out. — SONYA PARKER Copy Share Image
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?' — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image