Parenting Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother

— Rodney Dangerfield

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

— Rodney Dangerfield

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.

— Rodney Dangerfield

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

— Rodney Dangerfield

What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't…

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry.…

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

— Rodney Dangerfield

I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He…

— Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note…

— Rodney Dangerfield

When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.

— Rodney Dangerfield

Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think…

— Rodney Dangerfield

My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!

— Rodney Dangerfield

I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.

— Rodney Dangerfield

One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

— Rodney Dangerfield

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On…

— Rodney Dangerfield

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted…

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with…

— Rodney Dangerfield

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

— Rodney Dangerfield

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.

— Rodney Dangerfield