Night Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the…

— Rodney Dangerfield

I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.

— Rodney Dangerfield

A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.

— Rodney Dangerfield

With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.

— Rodney Dangerfield

One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

— Rodney Dangerfield

The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last…

— Rodney Dangerfield

Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other…

— Rodney Dangerfield

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move.…

— Rodney Dangerfield

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to…

— Rodney Dangerfield

All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it…

— Rodney Dangerfield

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each…

— Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I…

— Rodney Dangerfield

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.

— Rodney Dangerfield

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

— Rodney Dangerfield

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.

— Rodney Dangerfield

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".

— Rodney Dangerfield