Mother Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

— Rodney Dangerfield

My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I have three kids, one of each.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On…

— Rodney Dangerfield

When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

— Rodney Dangerfield

One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!

— Rodney Dangerfield

My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't…

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of…

— Rodney Dangerfield

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother

— Rodney Dangerfield