Dog Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My dog learned how to beg by watching me through the bedroom door.

— Rodney Dangerfield

She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.

— Rodney Dangerfield

What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

— Rodney Dangerfield

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.

— Rodney Dangerfield

My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our…

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.

— Rodney Dangerfield

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and…

— Rodney Dangerfield

What a childhood I had - I was ten years old when I found out Alpo was dog food.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with…

— Rodney Dangerfield

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.

— Rodney Dangerfield

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He…

— Rodney Dangerfield

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

— Rodney Dangerfield