Breakfast Quote by Peter Capaldi

For my 21st birthday, my now-wife, at the time girlfriend, flew across the country and showed up at my house.

— Kevin Jonas

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".

— Rodney Dangerfield

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

— Rodney Dangerfield

When I saw her I was in love with her. Everything turned over inside of me. She looked toward the door, saw there was…

— Ernest Hemingway

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

— Rodney Dangerfield

Suddenly the drunken sweetheart appeared out of my door. She drank a cup of ruby wine and sat by my side. Seeing and holding…

— Rumi

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

— Henny Youngman

I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!

— Richard Jeni

The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I…

— Steve Harvey

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed…

— Emo Philips

I saw my wife at a pool, flipped over her, and 14 days later we were married.

— James Garner

I met this little girlie, her hair was kinda curly. Went to her house and bust her out, I had to leave real early.

— Run DMC