I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about. — Elayne Boosler Comedy Copy Share Image
I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals. — Elayne Boosler Animal Copy Share Image
I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city. — Elayne Boosler Best way Copy Share Image
Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over. — Elayne Boosler Animal Copy Share Image
You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies. — Elayne Boosler Dies Copy Share Image
Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something. — Elayne Boosler Comedy Copy Share Image
A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without… — Elayne Boosler Cat Copy Share Image
I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would… — Elayne Boosler Animal Copy Share Image
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot. — Elayne Boosler Bald Copy Share Image
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty. — Elayne Boosler Covered Copy Share Image
I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession. — Elayne Boosler Choices Copy Share Image
As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year. — Elayne Boosler Adult life Copy Share Image
I don't categorize myself. I don't think I'm perceived as a female act by my audience. My fans include just as many… — Elayne Boosler Audience Copy Share Image
Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors?… — Elayne Boosler Actors Copy Share Image
I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six… — Elayne Boosler Cameroon Copy Share Image
I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When… — Elayne Boosler Apartment Copy Share Image
I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then… — Elayne Boosler Ball game Copy Share Image
It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular… — Elayne Boosler Baton Copy Share Image
I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the… — Elayne Boosler Amount Copy Share Image
As for being a voice in politics, I feel whether you are famous or not, busy or not, it's incumbent upon every… — Elayne Boosler Busy Copy Share Image
I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on… — Elayne Boosler Brooklyn Copy Share Image
I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the… — Elayne Boosler Ability Copy Share Image
I like to go after the foibles, basically of beliefs that are held without question. If people still want to believe in… — Elayne Boosler After Copy Share Image
President Bush said he didn't want to renew the Assault Weapons Ban because it might 'infringe on hunters' rights'. Who needs an… — Elayne Boosler Ak 47 Copy Share Image
Many animal rescue organizations hit with a hard-core, heartbreaking message. Their videos and stories can become difficult for average people to watch.… — Elayne Boosler Able Copy Share Image
When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab.… — Elayne Boosler Black Copy Share Image
I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners. — Elayne Boosler Cleaners Copy Share Image
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? — Elayne Boosler Eight Copy Share Image
Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote. — Elayne Boosler Citizens Copy Share Image
Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress. — Elayne Boosler Congress Copy Share Image
I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other. — Elayne Boosler I am thankful Copy Share Image
