Comedy Quotes

I'm a laugh junkie!

— Josh Blue

I'm a jokester.

— Brandi Glanville

Laugh now, Hate Later

— Dw

Is your joke still funny?

— Cuts And Scars

I'm so sorry I fell down.

— Buster Keaton

“Look before you blunder”

— Simon Haynes

It's OK to laugh at us.

— Rob Pilatus

I'm just not very funny.

— Ira Glass

And I love making people laugh.

— Supriya Pathak

“Laughter is the lubrication to soothe your soul.”

— Thomas F. Shubnell

Comedy is all about the pause.

— Ron White

He who laugh last , laugh best

— Anonymous

Laughter is always fatal to feeling.

— Amelia Barr

Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.

— LIZ

“Sorrow teaches more lessons than laughter.”

— Lailah Gifty Akita

Humor is a universal language.

— Joel Goodman

I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.

— Steven Wright

Richard Lester is a wonderful director, a great comedy director, of course.

— Malcolm McDowell

We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross.

— Shawn Wayans

“The funniest part of that joke is, 'say what you will about Hitler.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

It's a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. It's funny and accessible.

— Johnny Knoxville

What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.

— Dave Chappelle

I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.

— David Rees

“Smile makes women smarter, humour makes men handsome.”

— Amit Kalantri

I wouldn't call myself successful, just obsessively exhausted. The music makes me smile, the movies make me feel humbled, and the comedy…

— Vir Das

It's nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take…

— Larry the Cable Guy

I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge."

— Brian Regan

I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.

— Jim Gaffigan

Pakistan hasn't been cast in the role of... interesting cultural place or, you know, land of great comedians.

— Mohsin Hamid

I dare anyone to spend 10 years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre's hive of oppression and not suffer some form…

— Charlie Sheen

Let's face it, when is it actually ever funny to joke about hitting someone? Never, right? The threat to give someone a…

— Karren Brady

Stand-up is every man for himself; you learn from hanging out at these clubs and watching other guys, and then trying not…

— Harold Ramis

I think it would be so fun to do some kind of comedy, something - I'm not exactly sure, but something like…

— Eva Mendes

I know that it's probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or…

— Al Franken

I tend to think some things are off-limits. Not in the sense that you should not be able to say them, but…

— Stuart Hall

The real focus at first is to just become a good stand-up comedian, and then when you get to a certain level,…

— Jon Stewart

“She prefers the more dramatic shows where everyone's getting kidnapped or raped or shut up in a dark hole, and you aren't…

— Margaret Atwood

In 'Bojack,' at least at first, we had to couch some of the sadder or weirder or introspective stuff we were doing…

— Raphael Bob-Waksberg

There are certain things that I wrote jokes about that didn't make various specials because I was like, you know what? I…

— Taylor Tomlinson

As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two…

— Mitch Hedberg