Don't let dialog about your company happen without your perspective. — Brian Regan Business Copy Share Image
I took a speed reading course and my speed shot up to 43 pages a minute, but my comprehension plummeted. — Brian Regan Comprehension Copy Share Image
“Brian, relax, man. You’ve gotta relax when you make the crank calls.” — Brian Regan Relax Copy Share Image
Be adaptable, flexible and never stop learning. The rate of change will never stop and neither should you. — Brian Regan Adaptable Copy Share Image
Why are people getting on elevators shocked to find people getting off elevators? — Brian Regan Elevators Copy Share Image
I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge." — Brian Regan Comedy Copy Share Image
Do people who believe in reincarnation ever say, Darn, I'm still writing the year 1612 on my checks! — Brian Regan Believe Copy Share Image
Go my favorite sports team go! Score a goal. Unit. Basket. Go squadron! Defeat the opponents soundly in this...skirmish. — Brian Regan Baskets Copy Share Image
Just make sure you're staying true to yourself, and do what you think is good in that craft or field [of yours]… — Brian Regan Crafts Copy Share Image
Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use… — Brian Regan Analogies Copy Share Image
I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam.… — Brian Regan Bigs Copy Share Image
So when you do board, the first class people, they're sitting there. A lot of them are working as your boarding. They… — Brian Regan Boarding Copy Share Image
I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like… — Brian Regan Circumstances Copy Share Image
How come they don't think you can handle a new story out of the blue on the TV news? They gotta make… — Brian Regan Bigs Copy Share Image
I think the most horrible name for a crime has to be manslaughter. ... "I slaughtered a man! Just like a pig!… — Brian Regan Apples Copy Share Image
Like, I'm trying to make a statement that clean comedy is somehow better or loftier than dirty comedy, and I don't feel… — Brian Regan Clean Copy Share Image
Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if… — Brian Regan Court Copy Share Image
The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow. Where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do… — Brian Regan Certain Copy Share Image
I saw this sign posted once, it said, 'blasting zone ahead'. Wow... shouldn't that read: Road Closed. What do you mean there's… — Brian Regan Comedy Copy Share Image
Every comedian works differently. Some comedians might do just observational stuff and they don't do anything personal, and other people.. everything they… — Brian Regan Approach Copy Share Image
You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to… — Brian Regan Dark Copy Share Image
I try to be careful not to put the cart before the horse. I try not to create comedy for other comedians… — Brian Regan Audience Copy Share Image
The ultimate objective [of comedy] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you… — Brian Regan Brain Copy Share Image
Hey, you know who I feel bad for? Arab-Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting. — Brian Regan Crops Copy Share Image
Some people look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why?' I look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why not?' — Brian Regan Asks Copy Share Image
It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well. — Brian Regan Life Copy Share Image
You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because'… — Brian Regan Asks Copy Share Image
If reading makes you smart then how come when you read a book they have to put the title of the book… — Brian Regan Book Copy Share Image
As long as I can make that audience one thing, one unit, then I'm okay with it. But, sometimes, the bigger the… — Brian Regan Audience Copy Share Image
I am happy doing standup so I don't ever want to stop doing it. But I wouldn't mind venturing off and doing… — Brian Regan Comedy Copy Share Image
A formula for comedy is comedy equals tragedy plus time. A difficult or uncomfortable situation takes place, and then you laugh about… — Brian Regan Comedy Copy Share Image
I like the honesty of standup comedy. People don't fake laugh. If they're truly laughing at you, you know they like you. — Brian Regan Comedy Copy Share Image
I just tend to think about everyday things for my onstage act. Actually you know what I like to talk about just… — Brian Regan Absolutes Copy Share Image
I don't sit down with a goal of writing. I read books or magazines. I watch TV. I go to the doctor.… — Brian Regan Airplane Copy Share Image
![“Just make sure you're staying true to yourself, and do what you think is good in that craft or field [of yours] and then let everything else fall where it falls.” quote by Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a54/brian-regan-3918_crafts_just-make-sure-you-re-staying-true-to-yo_1336701.jpg)
![“The ultimate objective [of comedy] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you did not get a laugh, then you've kinda saved the moment. Other professions don't have that luxury. You don't want to hear a brain surgeon say, "Man, am I so stupid! I cut on the wrong side of your…” quote by Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.jpg)
