Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam.… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
How come they don't think you can handle a new story out of the blue on the TV news? They gotta make… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it.… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
You see weird things driving... I've never understood log trucks, sometimes you'll be out on the highway, you see two big giant… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I try to be careful and put things in perspective. There are people who have challenging lives and work hard physically and… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Sometimes you'll play, like, a large venue - maybe an outdoor venue or something - where it's so big that you can… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I am happy doing standup so I don't ever want to stop doing it. But I wouldn't mind venturing off and doing other things… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it. ... The… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I thought yoga was easy - I went out and I bought a yoga video tape. I bought the beginners' yoga tape. I couldn't… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow. Where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if someone talks… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge." — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
You can poke fun at some pretty difficult circumstances, and it's just a way to pop the bubble. I don't do that thing onstage… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
“I" before "E" except after "C" and when sounding like "A" as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
