About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
My perfect night would be going out to an awesome restaurant, then heading over to the Comedy Cellar to hang out with… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I never go see live comedy shows because I just sit in the audience thinking, "Here's what I would say. Here's what… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Katey Sagal, you are an incredible actress. You worked on ‘Married with Children,’ the show that changed comedy, ‘Sons of Anarchy,’ the… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
My first time on stage was the class "graduation" at the Comedy Store. It was awesome. Everything got huge laughs and I… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Comedy Central made me delete the Boston Marathon joke. I wasn't happy about it but, despite popular belief, I can occasionally be… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I always loved comedy, but it never seemed like something that I could do professionally. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I can stand by a tweet. But Comedy Central said they couldn't publicly support me, unless I deleted it. I wasn't about… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a while to… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Perhaps I'm being too optimistic, but I think this country is finally ready for a black serial killer. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night talk show.… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I actually never acted on "Deadwood." I have meetings all the time where people look at my IMDb page and see that I played… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I was a weird kid because I liked to be alone, but I craved attention. It was important for me to be cool, but… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
