Albums Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

The funnest jokes for me to tell are the ones that are the newest. So I'm just constantly motivated to keep my eyes and…

— Brian Regan

I have tons of jokes with moments in them over the years in stand-up that don't get a laugh but I love them so…

— John Mulaney

I don't do any jokes that old. I might have maybe one or two jokes from high school that I still do.

— Dave Chappelle

I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, “Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking .

— Anna Torv

I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or…

— Bill Burr

He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.

— Anonymous

For a while, I got a kick out of people asking me what I was up to and being able to say, 'Oh, I'm…

— Mat Fraser

I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.

— Bruce Bruce

I think you have to keep going. Otherwise, you know these fellas that say, "Boy I can't wait to retire. Boy, I'm going to…

— Ernest Borgnine

I've retired a couple of times. It's great, because you can just say, 'Oh, I'm sorry. I'm retired,'

— Bill Murray

I've never retired. And I've never said, "I quit."

— Parnelli Jones

I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.

— Amy Schumer