Jokes Quote by Amy Schumer Download Open image “I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.” — Amy Schumer ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.4 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare Jokes Proud Stills
I don't do any jokes that old. I might have maybe one or two jokes from high school that I still do. — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were… — Wanda Sykes Copy Share Image
I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
“... and left decimated. Not for myself, but for all the single women out there trying to date. I wanted to run to the… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard. — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.' — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
I don't feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don't feel pitted against anyone at all. — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up. — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
“Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon Copy Share Image
There is plenty of time for Republicans to have a Macaca moment. But right now, as of October 17, 2014, the Republican Senate candidates… — Matthew Continetti Copy Share Image
I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or… — Natasha Lyonne Copy Share Image
“A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farmhouse and asked the farmer… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was interested in all kinds of things, whether it be Avatar, Mad Men, Troy, 300, Battlestar Gallactica, or the poems of Horace and… — Daniel Mendelsohn Copy Share Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
Worship isn't destructive, Martin. I know that. I don't. I only know it's the core of his life. What else has he got? He… — Peter Shaffer Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
