Jay Mohr

I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ…

— Jay Mohr

You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being…

— Jay Mohr

I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the…

— Jay Mohr

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

— Jay Mohr

My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just,…

— Jay Mohr

I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He…

— Jay Mohr

“If you want God to laugh, make plans.”

— Jay Mohr

I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants…

— Jay Mohr

All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week... It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible…

— Jay Mohr

First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife.

— Jay Mohr

If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the…

— Jay Mohr

I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because…

— Jay Mohr

Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you're not Brad Pitt; you're never going to be Sam Rockwell…

— Jay Mohr

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all…

— Jay Mohr

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go…

— Jay Mohr

You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.

— Jay Mohr

Long Island always seems to be the hardest place for some reason. There are always excuses. People will say, "Well, there's a…

— Jay Mohr

I've been doing stand-up 29 years; there is no other career when you're finding your stride 30 years into it.

— Jay Mohr

'Christopher Walken' is my "Hotel California," but I've done it so much

— Jay Mohr

If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as…

— Jay Mohr

After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm…

— Jay Mohr

I think stand-up's, the older they get, the better they get.

— Jay Mohr

The jokes were perfect! Then George Carlin started talking about the seven dirty words you can't say on television, then it evolved…

— Jay Mohr

Most importantly, how impressive can I be to people that bought tickets, where they never feel, "It was pretty good." If anyone…

— Jay Mohr

But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have…

— Jay Mohr