Jokes Quote by Tom Segura Download Open image “I used to do much shorter jokes a lot more.” — Tom Segura ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.6 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Jokes Lot More Much Used
I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I only have eight jokes, but I can do 'em over a two-hour period of time. — Ron Shock Copy Share Image
Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Like, if you see my show, my jokes are much longer and they're just like, I'm going with the vibe. — Josh Blue Copy Share Image
I never used to tell jokes on stage. Now I'm cutting up jokes all night long. — Robin Thicke Copy Share Image
I'm a storyteller in a joke format. I tell stories, I try to have a lot of jokes constantly through that story. I never… — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
I don't want to lose weight to live long or be healthy. I just want to be able to make fun of fat people… — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
I would trade 20 white babies for an Asian baby. If I'm ever rich, I want a closet full of Asian babies. And I'll… — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
I don't like big events and crowded areas. I'm almost a curmudgeonly old man in that aspect. I've been like that forever. — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
You get such a visceral thrill driving a race car. You think you've driven, and then you're like, 'Oh, I was doing something for… — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
I think being funny was a coping mechanism because I was always the new kid in school. — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
I'm definitely a jaded traveler, but you try to make the best of what you know about the experience. Like, I know how to… — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
I know there are a lot of comics that put their kids all over social media, but I think it's weird. There are over… — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
Ninety percent of my material is made on stage, but I feel like you're missing something by abandoning sitting down to write entirely. — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
I've always worked toward, and felt comfortable with, you know, pausing and guiding the audience on a longer bit. — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
A lot of times, you land in a city, and you're like, 'This is not my people.' I'm gonna do the show, but you… — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
“Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon Copy Share Image
There is plenty of time for Republicans to have a Macaca moment. But right now, as of October 17, 2014, the Republican Senate candidates… — Matthew Continetti Copy Share Image
I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or… — Natasha Lyonne Copy Share Image
“A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farmhouse and asked the farmer… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was interested in all kinds of things, whether it be Avatar, Mad Men, Troy, 300, Battlestar Gallactica, or the poems of Horace and… — Daniel Mendelsohn Copy Share Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
Worship isn't destructive, Martin. I know that. I don't. I only know it's the core of his life. What else has he got? He… — Peter Shaffer Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
