Brunch Quote by Amy Schumer

“I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'”

Amy Schumer

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I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.

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I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.

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Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird…

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My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And…

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To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the…

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I don't feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don't feel pitted against anyone at all.

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Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.

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I like people who are predictable.

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I am very into making up my own rules.

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“People often romanticize children or adults with special needs, as if they are innocent-yet-wise creatures who can humble us all into becoming better humans. First of all, nobody can be innocent and wise at the same time. That’s another one of those impossible combinations. It’s as unachievable and improbable as Brenda. Or Carli. And secondly, I’m not suggesting the ladies…

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My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell…

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At a brunch potluck, I realize that I do, in fact, hate everybody.

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According to the three missed calls from her mother—who thought Madison had been kidnapped in the big, bad city and was now being held for an ungodly sum of money—the four text messages from her brother wondering if she knew how to navigate the beltway—because apparently little sisters couldn’t drive—and the voice mail from her father warning there was a…

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“Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.”

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I would sit in at a jazz brunch [at sweet Basil] with Eddie Chamblee, who was a great tenor player. Really a kind man.…

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All he said was, "Here, have your dinfast. Then we can start packing." "Dinfast," Nick repeated. "Dinner and breakfast!" Alan said triumphantly. "Like brunch."…

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