Comedy Quotes by Woody Allen

Your audience teaches you how to be funny.

— Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

— Woody Allen

“Drama is like meat and three veg. Whereas comedy is like the merangue at the end.”

— Woody Allen

“I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.”

— Woody Allen

I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.

— Woody Allen

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

— Woody Allen

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the…

— Woody Allen

Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.

— Woody Allen

Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's…

— Woody Allen

I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and…

— Woody Allen

I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I…

— Woody Allen

“If I got a paper cut, that’s a tragedy. If you fell down an open manhole and died, that's comedy.”

— Woody Allen

My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over…

— Woody Allen

Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol…

— Woody Allen

Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it.…

— Woody Allen

People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur…

— Woody Allen

I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women…

— Woody Allen

You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little…

— Woody Allen

I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so…

— Woody Allen

If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts…

— Woody Allen

You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable…

— Woody Allen

It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films…

— Woody Allen

What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It…

— Woody Allen

The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could…

— Woody Allen

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love…

— Woody Allen

In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate…

— Woody Allen

I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that…

— Woody Allen

I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come…

— Woody Allen

The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm…

— Woody Allen

I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious…

— Woody Allen

I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it…

— Woody Allen