Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Real life is generally much duller and inevitably sadder, most of the time. In film, you control everything that's going on, so… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“There's an old joke. Two elderly women are at a mountain resort. One of them says, "Boy, the food at this place… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You can't work at a relationship; you can't control it. You have to be lucky and go through your life. If you… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In real life I'm not the character I play in my films. I'm reasonably competent, I work very hard, I'm disciplined, I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image