I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points? — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you,… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
