Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because the fault must lie in my physical… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You can't keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When your watch gets out of order you have choice of two things to do: throw it in the fire or take… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have no liking for novels or stories - none in the world; and so, whenever I read one - which is… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Water is an individual, an animal, and is alive, remove the hydrogen and it is an animal and is alive; the remaining… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One gains at least two to three times more experience grabbing the tiger by the tail than reading about it in a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Germans have an inhuman way of cutting up their verbs. Now a verb has a hard time enough of it in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
