If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one. From the code… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Knighterrantry is a most chuckleheaded trade, and it is tedious hard work, too, but I begin to see that there is money… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If they [the dead] should speak, it would be found that in matters of opinion no departed person was exactly what he… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I thoroughly believe that any man who's got anything worthwhile to say will be heard if he only says it often enough. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
![“If they [the dead] should speak, it would be found…” quote by Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/78e/mark-twain-22_deep-down_if-they-the-dead-should-speak-it-would-b_285979.jpg)
