Ifs Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see…

— Jeff Foxworthy

Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

— Jeff Foxworthy