Ifs Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 3

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

— Jeff Foxworthy

I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch.…

— Jeff Foxworthy

Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

— Jeff Foxworthy

I'm an outdoor nut. If I'm not working, I'm on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

— Jeff Foxworthy

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

— Jeff Foxworthy