Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch.… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
