Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going,… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
