Might Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

— Jeff Foxworthy