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Portrait of Jeff Foxworthy

Jeff Foxworthy

(1958) Comedian United States

325 quotes in 1205 categories

Jeff Foxworthy’s 325 jokes and observations deliver the signature Southern humor that made him a household name. His punchlines blend cultural quirks with universal truths, making each quote a quick, laugh‑filled snapshot.

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Jeff Foxworthy is a comedian from the United States, best known for Dirt on My Shirt.

Quick Facts About Jeff Foxworthy

Born: September 6, 1958
Nationality: United States
Profession: Comedian
Notable works: Dirt on My Shirt

About Jeff Foxworthy

Jeffrey Marshall Foxworthy is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and radio and television host. He is a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, with Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, and formerly Ron White. Known for his "You might be a redneck" one-liners, Foxworthy has released six major-label comedy albums. His first two albums were each certified triple Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. He has written several books based on his redneck jokes, as well as an autobiography titled No Shirt, No Shoes... No Problem!

Biography source: Wikipedia

Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

Eye

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I LIVE IN THE ESTROGEN OCEAN

Estrogen

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I know God is real.

God

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There's no down time any more.

Time

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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

Ifs

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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

Car

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You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

Dog

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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

Beans

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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.

Cancer

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You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

Episode

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Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

Bad jobs

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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

Comedian

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I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really…

Albums

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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

Expensive

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If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

Cop

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You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

Deliverance

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It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.

Audience

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A free book that comes to my house full of nothing but women in their underwear? God Bless America!

Book

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You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

Barns

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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

Cash

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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and…

Causes

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I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my…

Gun

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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours…

Email

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The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have…

Motivation

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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks…

Golf

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Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the…

Being true

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I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd…

Act

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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do…

Alright

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It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the…

Dream

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Country music is about new love and it's about old love. It's about gettin' drunk and gettin' sober. It's about leavin' and…

Backbone

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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and…

Calling

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I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives…

Another man

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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt…

Airports

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Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99%…

Ashtrays

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That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting,…

Break

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This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now.…

Bucks

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You might be a redneck if...you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

Leadership

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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

Ifs

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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

Handkerchief

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If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

Fish

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Jeff Foxworthy by topic

Redneck (183) Ifs (175) Might (169) You might be a redneck if (155) Redneck humor (62) People (29) Thinking (24) Marriage (24) Funny (21) House (19) Wife (17) Humor (17) Knows (16) Car (16) Time (14) Family (14) Kids (13) Want (12) School (11) Life (11) Redneck Think (10) Home (10) Funny redneck (10) Truck (9) May (9)