Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds'… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a $hitload of money. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting,… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
![“[about sex and being married] It's like being the National…” quote by Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/137/jeff-foxworthy-939_action_about-sex-and-being-married-it-s-like-be_1451903.jpg)
