Wife Quotes by David Letterman

13 Wife quotes by David Letterman

Letterman’s signature sarcasm appears in thirteen jokes that blend personal anecdotes with a broader take on the spouse’s role.

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It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy…

David Letterman

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Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.

David Letterman

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Osama bin Laden... lived in one house for, like, six years with three wives. And earlier today, they ruled his death was…

David Letterman

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Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection,…

David Letterman

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What we know about Osama Bin Laden is this: he's worth $300 million, he has five wives and twenty-six kids -- and…

David Letterman

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Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. ... There's a problem with the antenna. They don't…

David Letterman

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President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'

David Letterman

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Osama bin Laden was living in that compound with three wives. It's like he was Newt Gingrich.

David Letterman

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We're learning more about Osama bin Laden. His father was married 16 times, and he has five wives. I think we're getting…

David Letterman

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Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time…

David Letterman

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John Walker, while he was in Afghanistan, told people his goal was to have four wives. ... Do we need any further…

David Letterman

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Former President Bill Clinton is on the program tonight. He says that while his wife runs for president, he would like to…

David Letterman

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Newt Gingrich had a horrible week in the Iowa caucuses. Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him.

David Letterman

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Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it…

David Letterman

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You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and…

David Letterman

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It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.

David Letterman

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There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They…

David Letterman

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I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

David Letterman

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Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice.

David Letterman

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We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since…

David Letterman

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I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

David Letterman

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“There is no off position on the genius”

David Letterman

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I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to…

David Letterman

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Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really…

David Letterman

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If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all.

David Letterman

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Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of…

David Letterman

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Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

David Letterman

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Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.

David Letterman

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