Ifs Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 2

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada

— Jeff Foxworthy

If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare…

— Jeff Foxworthy

People should see your faith. If all you do is talk about your faith and people don't see it, but they ought…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

— Jeff Foxworthy