Ifs Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 5

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

— Jeff Foxworthy

People should see your faith. If all you do is talk about your faith and people don't see it, but they ought…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

— Jeff Foxworthy

I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch.…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

— Jeff Foxworthy